When Cyrus Came To Town: #Just Call Me God – Birmingham 21/03/17

‘What is Power?  Power is the currency that the world pays for what they’ve done’ – Satur Diman Cha.

I don’t do classical music the only music by Bach I know is Sebastian Bach from Skid Row  and the closest I get to the ‘arts’ are subtitled French films, but when the Malkovich is in town I go. So this is not your average arty play review.

He is my all-time favourite actor mainly because he starred in the greatest film ever made playing the greatest bad guy ever – Cyrus ‘the Virus’ Grissom in Con Air*.  Of course I would not of gone to see this play if he wasn’t in it and I definitely would not of paid £50 for a 90 minute play about a crazy dictator with actors I’ve never hear of (shallow I know).  It’s not the first time I have seen him at Birmingham’s Symphony Hall he came to town in 2012 in the Infernal Comedy when he played a charming serial killer Jack Unterweger to opera.  I didn’t get it I think I was very star stuck back then or just stupid, I’m unsure.

Just call me God: The final speech of a dictator is about (if I understood this one) a mad dictator called Satur Diman Cha, his country had been taken over and he holds hostage a female journalist and a soldier who happens to be a brilliant organist – cue the classical music.  They try to stay alive by the soldier playing classical music with a gun to his head while the journalist helped the crazy leader give his last speech by interviewing him.

Malkovich is brilliant as Satur Diman Cha scary and funny, just like Cyrus.  It was funny in parts with a few one liners (even ‘fake news’ gets a mention) and his version of ‘we are the world’ is a highlight. The majority of this play he is terrifying and after playing crazy killers in Red 1 and 2 and In The Line Of Fire, let’s face facts he wasn’t going to star in a romantic comedy but he would make a cool panto villain!

My only negative point is why wasn’t the greatest film ever made* listed in his biography in the programme.


Note to self – write Con Air musical  ‘Where’s the bunny Where’s the Bunny’, ‘Oh No they have the plane’ and ‘Stopping off at Vegas’ sound like cool song titles.

Note to God himself –  Dear Mr Malkovich, think about the panto villain part (in Birmingham obviously) and free up your diary in 2025 for Con Air the Musical as that’s when I’m probably finish it.

Cy – yōnara

*in my option… but I’m right.

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